Jewish
life is cycles inside of cycles: the daily cycle of prayer, the weekly cycle of
Sabbath observance, the monthly sanctification of the New Moon, the annual
cycle of festivals, the seven-year sabbatical cycle related to debt release and
land use, the twenty-eight year cycle relating to the recitation of Birkat Ha-ḥamah,
the Blessing of the Sun…and the granddaddy of them all, the fifty-year jubilee
cycle that brings all lands in Eretz Yisrael back to their original owners and
completes the manumission of indentured servants. But that’s it—no cycles are
longer than that final one, a half-century being most of most people’s lives, I
suppose, and the notion of having calendrical cycles longer than the average human
life span just didn’t really make that much sense…and particularly in ancient
times, when life expectancy was that much less than it is nowadays.
So
fifty was a big number of years in ancient times. And, today, I’d like to write
to you about three different fifty-year anniversaries that either just
passed or are about to come up, each of which affected the fifty-year-younger
me in ways that I am certain I didn’t understand at the time and perhaps even
couldn’t have.

The
following winter, I read Hermann Hesse’s Narcissus and Goldmund, the
book which more or less guided me through my adolescence. It was a very popular
book back then—I’m guessing not a few of my readers also read it in the
course of their high school years—and it too featured two protagonists who were
wholly unlike each other. Narcissus is the scholar who finds his greatest joy
in intellectual achievement, while Goldmund wanders the world and samples its
pleasures freely and with almost Dionysian abandon. But although the book is
about how different and how similar the two of them actually are—in the
end, each ends up wishing he were more like the other—and how each of us, to
find balance and joy in the world, needs somehow also to “be” them both, I
already had in place the antipodes that would delimit my life’s journey, and
they were Reuven and Danny, not Narcissus and Goldmund. For better or worse,
that is how I got to be me…if not precisely then certainly in broad terms. But
the struggle depicted in the book between religiosity and scholarship, between
losing yourself and finding yourself in Jewishness, between finding solace and
guidance in other people’s books and writing your own story over and over in
your own (the boys trade places with Reuven, the scholar’s son, becoming a
rabbi, and Danny, the rebbe’s son, becoming a psychologist)—even at
fourteen, I understood that this was to be my own slightly impossible path
forward in life.
I
didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t even tell myself, not really. But in retrospect I
can see that I knew it clearly, and I think one of the first real intimations
of my future life that I had came to me as I read The Chosen. I
eventually read all of Potok, just as I eventually read all of Hesse. I liked
all of both authors’ books too, although some more and others less. But nothing
ever equaled either book in either author’s oeuvre in terms of the effect it
had on the adolescent or post-adolescent me.
The
second thing that happened a full fifty years ago that altered the course of my
life forward was the release of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band,
which the Beatles released on my fourteenth birthday. (You see, it really was
all about me!)


My
first visit to Israel was in 1966, the year of my bar-mitzvah. But that trip,
transformational in every meaningful way possible, was only the prelude to what
was to come. (For more about that trip and the effect it had on the adolescent
me, click here and here.)
I
loved Israel in 1966, but it was more than a bit of a third-world country in
those days. The public telephones didn’t work too well. You could only phone
overseas from a post office. Major roads were unpaved. The restrooms in the bus
stations were by American standards unspeakable. Yet there was an intoxicating
feel of newness and adventure everywhere, and the pioneering spirit our
teachers spoke about endlessly in Hebrew School was fully tangible at every
turn. I was not only impressed, but, in
the deepest sense of the word, I was overwhelmed. Nothing felt the same to me
after that trip—certainly nothing back home in Forest Hills, but also nothing
at all elsewhere in the world either—but, in the end, it was the Six Day War
itself that sealed the deal and made me feel that Israel was not only a noble
undertaking destined to have a profound impact on Jewish history, but that the
future of the Jewish people was going to be indelibly and inextricably tied to
the future history of the State in a way that was already making it
impossible to think of one without simultaneously thinking also of the other
and which would eventually shape my own sense of the meaning of Jewish history
in our time.
And
that was the story of my fourteenth year. Out there, the world was focused on
the summer of love as it was unfolding in San Francisco, New York, and London.
(I actually attended—or at least put in a nervous appearance—at the Be-In in
Central Park’s Sheep Meadow that spring, which I remember as being remarkably
like its depiction in Miloš Forman’s movie version of Hair. But that
will have to be another story for another time.) But for me, it was the year of
three things backed up by three other things—the Six Day War backed up by my
experiences a year earlier in Israel, The Chosen backed up by Narcissus
and Goldmund, and Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band backed up by
every album I owned that came before it and which created the hole where the
rain got in, and got my mind to wondering where it could go oh, where it could
go. Oh! And where I went too, as it turned out.
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